Areas Where we struggle in Marriage | Enduring All Things

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Areas Where we struggle in Marriage

You guys, I have a secret... My marriage isn't perfect. Whoa, right? Okay maybe it wasn't such a surprise. Nobody's perfect, right? And besides, I've shared before that our marriage isn't perfect (here and here and basically all the time). I hope I never come across as "holier than thou" on this blog. I blog about marriage because it's something I'm passionate about. I'm constantly learning and I like to share what I learn.

That's why I was so happy to read Sheila's post about how she and her husband don't drive well together. I think we all have little quirks in our marriages and little situations that aren't perfect or even ideal. And that's okay!

Personally, I love driving with Pearson. And that's good because every Thanksgiving and Christmas we embark on a road trip. That's just where we are in life right now and the road trips are always one of my favorite parts of the holidays.

But that's not what today's post is about.

Today I want to share some areas where we aren't perfect. Of course we aren't perfect in any area of our marriage. But these are some not-so-perfect ones that stand out to me. Some we're working on, some are just silly, and some I just think aren't that big of a deal. Kind of like Sheila and the driving thing.
First, communication. Of course. But more specifically: I don't always tell Pearson what's bothering me. Instead I shut down, give one word answers, and eventually cry or yell. This is not very healthy. Also, he wears his hart on his sleeve and takes things personally, Sometimes, these two are not a good combination. I'll be mad or frustrated with a situation that has nothing to do with him, say a work problem or someone cutting me off in traffic, and he'll assume I'm upset with him for some reason.

Some other times we struggle in our communication, as I mentioned in this post, include my expecting him to know what I'm feeling and thinking, and my assuming that I know exactly what he's feeling and thinking. Often neither of us communicates our expectations for certain situations because we forget how different we are from each other and we think we have the same expectations.

But we're both trying to be better about this our communication, and we're slowly but surely improving.

Secondly, stupid fights. If I'm being honest, I don't really remember any big fights that Pearson and I have ever had. At least not over anything important.

However, our first ever fight was over a football game. The Georgia/Florida game in 2007, to be exact. If Miami and Georgia ever play (which I'm betting will be in a bowl game in the next season or two because of the whole Mark Richt thing), we won't be able to watch the game together. I'm actually kinda scared of what might happen. We might not even be able to talk for a few days after. I'm being completely serious. Pearson thinks we'll be fine but I think he's just in denial.

But here's the thing. We know our limits (or at least I do). We don't always see eye to eye on everything and that's okay. Marriage isn't always perfect. And when it's a little thing, like not being able to watch a football game together, it doesn't really matter.

Third, we're sort of comfortable. We're out of the "lovey-dovey," honeymoon stage of our marriage and have to be more intentional about showing affection to each other. We're comfortable in our "date nights" and don't always plan intentional and fun dates like we should. We don't always put technology away and spend time together like we should. We're comfortable in almost everything we do together, which is not always a bad thing. I want to be his comfort after a hard day. But I also want to be spontaneous and have fun together instead of always watching Netflix.

This is something we're working on too, but it's difficult when his schedule is so unpredictable and he works long hours. We can't always play fun, out of the box dates. And he often doesn't feel like doing anything besides hanging out on the couch because he's exhausted. That's okay too. This is a season we're in.
So tell me, what are some areas in your marriage where you aren't perfect? Do you struggle with communication, silly fights, and being too comfortable?
Thanks for reading!
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