Anyway, all this to say I thought it was time to stop in with a little advice today.
This post is a little different from my normal posts. I usually write about how great marriage is and I'm an advocate for getting married and staying married. But today, I'm going to talk about when NOT to get married!
12 Terrible Reasons to Get Married
ONE || It's the next step.
Okay so you've been dating forever, right? And you don't really want to break up. So marriage is the next step, right? No. Not necessarily. If you're not really excited about getting married, that's a bad sign. If you can't think of any othe reason besides it's just what you should do, that's a bad sign. You should marry someone because you love them and want to spend the rest of your life with them in the covenant of marriage. It's not a decision that should be taken lightly.
TWO || You're getting older.
Maybe you're in your thirties or even fourties and the person you're dating is actually pretty decent and tolorable. Also, your biological clock is definitely ticking. It's time to settle, right? Wrong! You deserve to be happy. You deserve to fall head over heels in love. And if you don't have that, you deserve to be happy single and by yourself. You don't need to get married. You might not believe me, bu trust me. Wait.
THREE || All your friends are doing it.
Is this ever a good reason to do anything? No. Just no. If you're not ready, don't be pressured. Don't compare your life to theirs. God has a plan for you. Trust that. Don't rush into everything just because you feel left out.
FOUR || Your boyfriend or girlfriend is pressuring you.
This one may seem like an okay reason. Maybe you're afraid of losing him or her of you don't get married. Maybe you've been dating for a while and you feel like you owe it to him. Just don't do it. You will most likely not be happy if you're forced into something you don't really want to do. And as a result, your spouse won't be happy either.
FIVE || Your family is pressuring you.
This very important decision in your life is yours and your future spouse's decision to make. And nobody else's. Try to ignore those pressures and step back and make sure it's you two making the decision. And for the right reasons.
SIX || Money.
Whether it's for the financial security, the tax breaks or because he's filthy rich, don't marry for money! Just don't do it. You'll be miserable, I promise!
SEVEN || For the wedding.
I get it. Weddings are exciting. Maybe you've pictured your wedding all your life and now you're in a serious relationship and that dream wedding is possible! If you're honestly more excited about the wedding than the marriage, that's a major red flag. Just don't do it.
EIGHT || Children.
Whether you want kids in the future, you're currently pregnant or already have children together, or you are a single parent and really want your kid(s) to have another parent around, don't do it. Marriage has to be about you and your spouse. If' your reason for getting married is about kids, than your entire marriage will be about kids and that's not healthy.
NINE || You're lonely.
Being alone sucks. It's not a secret. And the fear of being alone forever is even worse. But don't settle for someone you can tolerate being around because you don't want to be alone. Wait for the one you can't stand to live without. And even if he never comes, it's worth it. Just don't settle. Talk about regret.
TEN || To get over an ex.
Ah rebound relationships. I don't think I need to tell you that these happen for all the wrong reasons. So getting married to your rebound is just a mistake you'll regret forever. Besides, if you're getting married to get over an ex, then you're not really over your ex and that can be detrimental to a marriage.
ELEVEN || Your families get along.
So what? You like his family. He likes yours. They get along with each other. Maybe your families were friends before you dated. Maybe you grew up together and everyone always joked about you being the cutest little couple who would one day get married. Sure it's a cute story. But it's not worth it unless you truly are in love and want to spend your lives together.
TWELVE || You want to leave home.
Now I get that in most American families nowadays children don't have to get married to leave home. But I feel like there are still a few for which this is sort of the next step. Even if it's not really a known rule, I feel like a lot of kids live with their parents even after they become "adults," whether it's their choice or they feel they have to for financial or any other reasons, but if they were married, they would have an excuse to leave. It's just simply not a good enough reason to tie the knot.
So you see, the only real reason to get married (at least in an American society without arranged marriages) is for love. It's because you love each other and want to do life together. You want to spend forever together and couldn't imagine your life without each other. You dream about your future together and want nothing more than to tie the knot, seal the deal, and vow to love and cherish each other till death.
Thanks for reading!
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