Hi, how are you? No really. How are you? | Enduring All Things

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Hi, how are you? No really. How are you?

:Start conversation:

Person 1: Hi! How are you?

Person 2: I'm fine, how are you?

Person 1: Good, thanks!

:End conversation:
We've all been a part of the conversation: "How are you? Fine, you? Fine!" It's time we start really meaning it when we ask how are you. Listen and be a shoulder to lean on!
We've all heard this exact conversation a million times. And I'm sure we've all been in this conversation a million times. I've even had it in every drive through lately. People are busy and don't really want to take the time to talk to each other. We just ask "How are you?" to be polite, but we don't actually want a real and honest answer. That would mean we have to stop what we're doing and listen. That would mean we're burdened with another's load on top of our own. We have enough stuff on our plate to deal with. We don't want to hear about everybody else's lives and daily struggles.
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. -Galatians 6:1-3 ESV
Guys. Bear each other's burdens. That's true Christian love. That's what Jesus would do. That's what Jesus wants us to do.

And please know that I'm talking to myself as much as anyone else.

We are human. We are selfish by nature. It's hard to think about other people and to truly put ourselves out there to help.

Likewise, it's also hard for us to ask for help. It's hard to open up to one another. We are also proud by nature. And private. And embarrassed.
And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. -Acts 2:44-47 ESV
This is one of my favorite passages of scripture because it shows what the first century church was like. The sense of community. Of family. They all were one in Christ. They all communed together and shared everything. They helped each other out and lifted each other up. Sometimes I'm afraid our society is so far gone from that, that we can never go back.

We're called to love each other. To love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40). I think we often believe that we are loving our neighbors. We pray for them. We ask how they're doing. Sometimes we even bring them food when they're sick or hurt and maybe we even sit with them and talk for a while. But once we've done that on the day we signed up for, we forget about it.

I'm not saying any of those things is bad. I'm just saying I think we can do more. And it starts with relationships. It starts with walking into church on Sunday morning and asking somebody how they're doing but really wanting to know.

And with that, I think I'll go call a few friends to see how they're doing. And I may even send a cheer up kit or two.

When was the last time you had a conversation like this?
How can you make sure these conversations go deeper?
Thanks for reading!

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6 comments:

  1. Ugh, this is so true. I'm guilty of not asking for help when I need it.

    I miss community. A lot. I have friends in Georgia, but not enough, and none are geographically close. I haven't had community since leaving Ohio.

    I did have a chance a few weeks ago to have the sort of deep, personal conversation I miss. One of my best friends from college was house-sitting for her parents outside Atlanta, so we met up in the city and spent the whole day together, talking and walking. We don't get to talk as often as I'd like, and this was our first time together in person since 2011, but it always feels like we were just together yesterday. <3

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  2. Yes I love friends like that. I miss it so much too! I don't really have that kind of community here either. I'm glad you got to catch up with her!

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  3. I am definitely guilty of not wanting to talk about what is really going on in my life. Although I usually want to genuinely hear it when I ask how someone else is doing.

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  4. Dona LaTarsha NesbitJuly 28, 2017 at 1:23 PM

    I try to stop and listen for the answer to my, "how are you?" It takes an extra minute but its worth it. It helps to look directly at the person while they answer, then God can direct you in what to say and how to pray.

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  5. Yes that's so important! I usually try to follow up with another question if they give me a one word "fine" type of answer.

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  6. Yes I think that may be the problem most of the time. It's people not wanting to open up more than it's people not wanting to listen.

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