3 Valuable Tips to Help you Stop Nagging your Husband | Enduring All Things

Friday, September 4, 2015

3 Valuable Tips to Help you Stop Nagging your Husband

One of the biggest things I struggle with in my marriage is nagging. 

I get upset over the stupidest things and nag Pearson until his ears fall off over something that doesn't matter.

Then, I realize what I've done and I go really far in the other direction. I don't ask him to help me with anything and I try not to ever bother him in case he sees it as nagging. If we're being honest, this is the side of it that I fall into more often. And the bad thing is, I'll start to resent him for not helping or I'll keep things that bother me bottled up. Then I either explode with anger, or he gets angry at me knowing I'm keeping something from him.

It's a tough balance. I've found that it helps to picture myself as Pearson best friend more than his mother. If I can listen to myself and hear a mother type of tone, I stop. Or at least I try to stop.

After talking about this with other wives and reading about it in a couple books (especially The 5 Love Languages), I've collected a few tips to help. And I thought I'd share them with you!

ONE || Know when to share opinions and when to keep them to yourself. There really is a fine line here because if you're husband is anything like mine, he welcomes your opinions! Pearson doesn't like it when I keep anything to myself (especially if he can tell I'm not telling him something - I don't have a good poker face). But sometimes, it's just better unsaid. It's not worth nagging him about it. Make the judgement call. Think hard about what you're going to say and decide if it's really worth bringing up.

TWO || Use positive reinforcement. If you want him to do something, maybe fix the leaking faucet or paint the bedroom, tell him. Once. Just mention it once. Then praise him for all the good things he does for you. I guarantee you you'll find something. Thank him for taking the trash out or filling up the water pitcher. Tell him he did a good job with anything he does. Compliments are better motivators than nagging and the more you praise him, the more likely he'll be to do more to please you. This tip came from The 5 Love Languages in the Words of Affirmation chapter.

THREE || Pray! When you aren't sure whether to bring something up (again), pray. When you're really tempted to nag, pray. Really you should just pray all the time. Ask God for wisdom in these situation just like any other!
Do you have any tips to add to my list? Anything would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks for reading!

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