10 Instances Indicating you haven't Communicated Effectively | Enduring All Things

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

10 Instances Indicating you haven't Communicated Effectively

Hey guys. So last week I started talking about communication in marriage. Actually, if we're being honest, I didn't talk much at all but I let 10 famous people do the talking. But the point of that post was to emphasize how hard it is to communicate in any sort of relationship. It's hard.

You know, sometimes I think I've communicated well in my relationship with Pearson and then he will say something or we'll come across this situation and I realize I wasn't so clear in my communication. It happens more than I care to admit.

So today I wanted to share 10 instances indicating you haven't communicated effectively. Some of these instances may be obvious to you, some not so much.

  • When you assume you know what he's feeling. 

Look, I am so guilty of this. And it drives Pearson crazy. He gets mad whether I assume correctly or incorrectly. He just wants me to ask how he's feeling. He wants me to give him a chance to explain himself instead of jumping to conclusions. And I can respect that.

  • When you say "nothing" is wrong or "It's fine" when that isn't the case

Again, I'm very guilty of this as well. Usually it bothers your spouse more if you say this than if you were to "butden" them with your troubles. If you do it often, It's a sign you need to work on your communication.

  • When he gets upset over something you said.

Did you say something you thought was innocent and you didn't mean it in an offensive way at all? But he took offence anyway. Sounds like a communication problem to me.

  • When you are able to sleep fine after  a "deep" conversation.

If you're not having trouble sleeping, chances are it wasn't that great of a conversation. On the other hand, sometimes not being able to sleep means you didn't communicate what you wanted to get across either.

  • When you stop having "deep" conversations.

Do all your conversations consist of how your day was and what the kids are up to? Have you lost your love for deep conversations about life and dreams and goals? Or maybe even political or religious discussions. If these aren't happening, you might have a communication problem.

  • When you don't understand his side.

Sometimes, when you're arguing, you realize you have NO IDEA where he's coming from. Like, how in the world can he think that? Well, maybe you're not communicating well. Stop arguing and try to see things from his side. Ask him to explain again.

  • When you feel he doesn't understand your side.

Just like in the last scenario, maybe he's not understanding your side. Try to communicate what you mean and ask him to try to at least understand where you're coming from.

  • When you care more about getting your own point across than listening to his.

Communication is a two way street. We all want to be heard, but sometimes we need to do the hearing too. Listen to his side completely before trying to barge in with why your opinion is better.

  • When you were distracted throughout the conversation.

Ever finish a conversation and realize you don't really remember what was said? Been there, done that. Listening is a very important part of communication. As hard as it is to do, put the phone down, close the laptop, and have a meaningful conversation without distractions!

  • When you fly off the handle.

You know, like when you get so angry you can't control yourself. Maybe you have anger management issues. But it's very likely you're having communication issues too.

Like I said, communication is hard. But that's no reason to give up. When you've communicated effectively, life is so much easier. It might not be easy to do in the first place. But it's worth it later!

What would you add to my list?
Thanks for reading!
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