When you Don't Feel Like you're Being Heard in your Marriage | Enduring All Things

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

When you Don't Feel Like you're Being Heard in your Marriage

I'm sure a lot of us wives (and husbands) feel like we're not being heard at times. We try to listen to his side, but he's not listening to our side. Not only do we not get what we want or need because he's not hearing us but we feel undervalued and unimportant.
It's tough. I get it. But you have to remember you're not going to change anything by yelling at him or nagging him. You have to bring it up respectfully even if you don't feel like it.

Some of the best advice I can give you when there is anything difficult going on in your marriage is to work on yourself first. Your own attitude and your own actions are something you can directly change. Even if you feel 100% sure that you're not at fault, there's still a chance you are. You're a little biased, I promise. And even if you're not at fault per se, I bet there's something you can improve on that can directly or indirectly help the situation. Maybe you're not conveying your feelings well. Maybe you're not listening to him as well as you think and therefore he doesn't want to listen to you either. Maybe you're stressing him out with your "honey-do" list or with nagging and he can't take any more stimuli.

I'm not saying any of this excuses his (or her) behavior, I'm just saying take a minute to stand in his shoes, work on somebody and something you can fix instead of focusing on fixing him, and lead by example.

The next piece of advice I can give you is to pray. Again, you can't always change your spouse. But God can. Pray for your spouse to start listening to you, but also pray for yourself. Ask God for the wisdom and guidance to be the type of wife that your husband wants to listen to.

I think we as humans are often inclined to point fingers and to want to fix everybody else. But that just doesn't work. We as humans are also inclined to want to feel heard. We need that. We need to feel important and to be given a fair chance to communicate our needs and wants. If you're having trouble and not feeling heard, please focus on being a good listener yourself and pray.

Is this you? Do you ever feel like your spouse isn't listening to you or hearing you? Do you have any more advice to give on this subject?
Thanks for reading!
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