How To Rekindle Romance In Your Long-Term Relationship | Enduring All Things

Friday, September 7, 2018

How To Rekindle Romance In Your Long-Term Relationship

I have another great guest post for you today. I love everything about this post and agree with all the points Clara makes! Some of these points I've actually blogged about myself. It's always a good time for a few reminders.

So without further adieu, here are some great ways to rekindle romance in your long-term relationship!

Research with American couples suggests that there is a negative effect of marital duration on happiness. In other words, couples slowly become more dissatisfied over time. Only 35% of those married for ten years say that they feel intense love for their spouse.

Such research appears to support the cliché that ardent love and romance tends to die in long-term relationships. On the other hand, some couples do keep the flame alive. So, how do they do it?
Here are a few ideas:

1. Try something completely different and slightly scary: 

When you try something new and exciting, your body releases dopamine and oxytocin, two “feel-good” hormones that promote bonding. Family therapist Gary Brown advises that thrilling activities will strengthen your attachment.

If you aren’t sure where to start, put an “Ideas Jar” in your bedroom. When you get an idea for a new activity, put it in the jar. You or your partner can then pick one out at random when you have a couple of spare hours.

2. Take up new solo hobbies if you don’t already have your own interests: 

Spending too much time together can drain the romance and excitement from your relationship.

Make sure you have your own space, your own friends, and your own hobbies. Independence and confidence are attractive qualities. Read a few love yourself quotes every day if you need a self-esteem boost.

3. Take a trip down memory lane:

Revisiting old hangouts and listening to music you associate with the early days of your relationship can trigger nostalgic feelings. Reliving your most romantic moments can rekindle the spark and remind you why you fell in love.

4. Schedule a regular date night:

In the first phase of your relationship, you probably put time alone together at the top of your priority list. Unfortunately, when you started to build a life together, romantic evenings may have started slipping to the bottom.

Make a point of setting aside one evening a week to spend as a couple. This is particularly important if you have children. Parents often get stuck in their new role of “mom” or “dad.” Remember that you are still partners and lovers above all else.

5. Learn how to give a massage:

Intimate touch is both relaxing and romantic, and a massage is a wonderful way to show how much you care. If you want to give your partner a really luxurious experience, use some warming massage oil. Turn it into a special evening with the additional of soothing background music and scented candles.

6. Get to know your partner a little better:

Intimacy is the foundation of all good relationships. You may assume that you know everything about your partner, but they might surprise you. Use a couples’ app like Kindu to discover more about their tastes, preferences, and even wildest fantasies!

7. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude:

Remind yourself of all the things your partner does for you, and why they make you happy. Write them a letter expressing your admiration, or simply make a point of telling them why they are so awesome. When you make a point of admiring your partner, they are likely to do the same in return.

8. Take a few minutes to check in every morning or evening:

Don’t let yourself get so busy that you start detaching from your partner. Show that you are truly present in your relationship by setting aside all distractions and checking in. Ask them whether they would like you to run any errands.

It’s inevitable that your love for one another will change in time, but you can still enjoy plenty of romance. Make a game of keeping the spark alive, and you can look forward to many fun-filled years together.

Author Bio:

Clara Masters
Clara is an entrepreneur and content marketer. In a former life, as a corporate business executive, she relied on yoga, reflexology and other alternative practices to fight stress, anxiety and find balance. At she’s on a mission to bring massage therapy closer to those who want to live a balanced, healthy life, connecting body, mind and spirit. You can follow her on Facebook and Pinterest.
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