Enduring All Things: October 2018

Friday, October 19, 2018

Fall Bucket List {& Some Fall Date Articles you need to Read}

Happy Friday, Friends! Well, we're more than half way through October. And that means, while not technically true, it feels like we're more than half way through autumn. Ugh. This is my FAVORITE season and I haven't done a while lot to celebrate. We went to the Oregon coast twice in September and were busy with a lot of other things, but we haven't done much of anything outside the house in October. Why???

So I sat down and did a little research to make a bucket list. We may not get to everything on this bucket list this year just because it's already so late in the season. But regardless, I wanted to share my fall bucket list with you as well as some of the great articles I got ideas from!
Fall is such a fun season with a ton of activities to do. Especially on a date. I've compiled a bucket list of autumn date ideas I want to do with my husband. I've also shared a round-up of articles all about fall activities that you don't want to miss out on this season!

Date Ideas

First I want to share with you some articles that I found all about fall date ideas. I'll be honest, some of the ideas are a bit redundant. They're things Pearson and I have done before and they're listed on every fall date idea list out there. But when you're in a rut, sometimes you just need to be reminded of things you already love to do.

Snuggle Up for a Little Autumn Romance by A Prioritized Marriage
Fall Date Night Outfit + 10 Fall Date Night Ideas by Living the Sweet Wife
30 Romantic Fall Date Ideas by Coming Up Roses
10 Fall Dates That Cost Zero: Date Night Ideas That Fit Tight Budgets by Snail Pace Transformations
50 Fall Date Ideas by Domestically Blissful
25 Fall Date Ideas to make the Most of Fall by Friday We're in Love

Bucket Lists

Here are some fall bucket lists from around the web. Or more accurately, from around my spear of the web. These aren't as redundant as the date ideas. They're all super fun!

My October Bucket List by Modwife.co
Autumn Bucket List 2014 (and What I Wore) by Belle Brita
Have the Best Autumn EVER With Our Ultimate Fall Bucket List by PopSugar

My Own Blog

Here are some blog posts from my own blog. One is a list of date ideas, but the other two have great ideas too! Oh and the first one in this list is a great guest post so check it out!

Sweater Weather Couple’s Activities
How to Enjoy the Beautiful Fall Season Outside
Fall Date Ideas

Specific to the Portland Area


Crescent

Another great thing to do if you're in a rut and looking for fun activities in your area is to schedule a date with Date Crescent! They're a dating concierge service for couples. You just have to sign up for their service and tell them a little about your likes and dislikes and then your availability and budget etc. Then they do all the research for you and come up with a unique date idea in your area! They have different price tiers so you can have them do all the bookings and everything or just have them find something for you. We did a beer festival with them back in June and it was awesome!

You can use this code for 50% off a date proposal: 12B85AAA49

If you don't want to schedule a date with them just yet, you can check out their blog to see if they have suggestions of what to do in your area this time of year. They're really good about updaating that!


My Bucket List

Ok on to my bucket list! Most of these I would like to do as a date with Pearson but I didn't really consult him for all of these so I'm calling it my bucket list instead of our bucket list.
  1. Take a long drive among the fall foliage.
  2. Go apple/pumpkin picking.
  3. Do some baking with those apples and/or pumpkins.
  4. Do a cider tasting.
  5. Go to a fall/harvest festival complete with a hay ride. Bonus points for a corn maze.
  6. Go to a bonfire complete with roasting marshmallows. Unfortunately we can't really host one because we live in an apartment. One day!
  7. Go to a football game. Even if it's just high school.
  8. Have a picnic and throw football in the park.
  9. Have a scary movie marathon
  10. Have a "silly" Halloween movie marathon. We'll watch Hocus Pocus, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Halloweentown and anything else we find and have access to.
  11. Have a Harry Potter Marathon. I don't know why the Harry Potter movies (and books) are better in the fall.
  12. Create a blanket fort in our living room (perhaps to watch any of the marathons listed above)
  13. Create our Halloween costumes and decorations for trick-or-treating. We will pass out candy to kids in our community at our Church building. I think we're gonna be pirates!
  14. Have a coffee shop date.
  15. Do either a haunted house, escape room (I've always wanted to do that but never gotten to), haunted ghost tour, and/or Haunted Pub Tour
So I'm really hoping all this research and creating this list will get my butt in gear and I'll be excited for fall! I think this weekend we may actually cross several things off this list! Particularly, numbers 2, 3, 5, and 14!

Have you created a fall bucket list? What's on your list? What do I need to add to mine?
Thanks for reading!

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Friday, October 12, 2018

How to Support your Spouse's Mental Health Journey

I've been wanting to write this post for a while now and it just seems to be a good time. Wednesday was World Mental Health day and for the past week or so, I've really not been feeling myself mentally. My anxiety has been spiking and I've had a bout of depression. I think current events have been effecting me really badly. But I won't go into all that.

Over the last couple years, Pearson and I have both struggled some in the mental health department. We both went to counseling for most of last year. We both got a lot better. And we've both had our fair share of relapses. And we've both learned a lot about mental health in general, how the brain works, and how to support each other's mental health journeys!

So today I want to talk a little about that last point.
Mental health is so important and supporting each other in your mental health journeys is one of the best things you can do for each other and your marriage. I think our society is slowly loosing the stigma around mental health and that's great! Bring that attitude into your marriage. Try to understand and be there for each other. Don't belittle their feelings and encourage them to take care of themselves. And you do the same!

ONE || Don't get frustrated

I must admit that I've been guilty of this. Actually, I think we've both been guilty of this. When you're on the outside looking in at someone spiraling into depression or having a spike in anxiety or whatever the issue may be, it's hard to sympathize. When you're not in the middle of it yourself. you're able to see clearly and to think rationally and it's easy to get frustrated and think "just be happy already!"

Of course that's quite the simplification, but I think you get what I'm saying. The partner who's thinking rationally can see that "life is good" and that the one spiraling has "so much going for them" and that the things they keep telling themselves are lies. But you have to remember, when they are in the middle of it, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. They can't think rationally or see clearly. It's just not that simple. The brain is a powerful thing!

TWO || Help identify triggers

Here's the thing about mental illness. Yeah you can take medicine but not everybody who suffers needs medication. A lot of managing the issue is done mentally with tools that a therapist can give you. And a very important tool is to identify triggers. In fact, this might be the first step that everyone should take because once you realize that your anxiety spikes when you have a one on one meeting with your boss at work, you can begin to narrow down what exactly is causing the anxiety and work on ways to combat it.

Once you've identified what triggers you, you can avoid those or be better prepared for them if they're unavoidable. And in my experience, sometimes the partner on the outside can see the triggers more clearly. Not always. In fact, I think I can see Pearson's triggers better than he can see mine because I don't share a lot of my emotions and I just don't share as much as him in general. But it's still important to help try to identify them and just start a conversation about why they might be feeling a certain way.

THREE || Encourage them to do things they used to enjoy

One major symptom of depression (or really any mental issue) is a person not enjoying things and activities they use to enjoy. Whether it's a hobby, exercise routine, or just a simple guilty pleasure, they just don't find joy in them anymore. As the spouse, try to encourage them to continue these activities, even if they don't want to anymore.

Back when I was depressed really bad in the Spring of 2016, I never wanted to leave the house or do anything. I wasn't doing much more than sleeping, to be honest. I always felt my best when Pearson and I would go do things together even if it was just going to a movie. So I eventually made myself start going to the movies!

FOUR || Support them

Okay of course a big part of supporting your spouse through their mental issues is "supporting them." But it's more than just not getting mad or frustrated! Be there for them to lean on. Hug them. Sometimes just a cuddle or hug from Pearson makes me feel so much better!

Listen to them. But don't pressure your partner to share with you either. Yes talking about what they're going through can certainly help but sometimes talking and re-living whatever causes the issue can do more harm than good. And when they're not ready to share, pressuring them can make the anxiety even worse!

Whatever you do, just make sure they know you still love them, that they are not a burden, that they are worthy and enough and that they have your support no matter what!

FIVE || Encourage them to seek professional help

The absolute MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do to support your spouse through mental issues is to encourage them to seek professional help. I saved the best for last! But really, you can only do so much yourself. Let someone whose job it is help your partner. Encourage them to ask their doctor about a diagnoses and medication if they need it.

Of course nothing beats personal, one on one, therapy, but if that isn't possible financially, or time wise, or for some other reason, there are some great resources out there these days! One of those resources is all the content that Tiffany Roe of Mindful Counseling puts on the internet! She has some free content in a podcast called Therapy Thoughts, and she shares mini Therapy Thoughts on Instagram every day. She also has some great paid courses on mindfulcounselingschool.com that are a great option and quite a bit cheaper than therapy.
Mental health is so important and supporting each other in your mental health journeys is one of the best things you can do for each other and your marriage. I think our society is slowly loosing the stigma around mental health and that's great! Bring that attitude into your marriage. Try to understand and be there for each other. Don't belittle their feelings and encourage them to take care of themselves. And you do the same!
Mental health is so important and supporting each other in your mental health journeys is one of the best things you can do for each other and your marriage. I think our society is slowly loosing the stigma around mental health and that's great! Bring that attitude into your marriage. Try to understand and be there for each other. Don't belittle their feelings and encourage them to take care of themselves. And you do the same!

What have you done for your own mental health? How have you helped your spouse on their journey?
Thanks for reading!

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Posts on this blog may contain affiliate links. 
If you click on a link and make a purchase, I might get a little money. 
All opinions are my own.
Continue reading »

Monday, October 1, 2018

Monthly Goals for October {2018}

GUYS! It's my favorite month of the year! I'm super excited for all this month has to offer from Halloween parties to scary movies to changing leaves and more football. I hear that Portland does Halloween right and I'm excited to experience this! I'm also excited for the next two months after this one. I used to hate Christmas time but now I love it and I can't wait to spend the most wonderful time of the year in our new home.

But I have a confession to make... I did TERRIBLE on my goals in September. I mean I haven't done this poorly in a long time. But I really don't care. We had a great September and while I could have been better about work stuff, it was a good break. So basically I'm keeping all of the same goals for October. And there's something about this time of year that makes me want to kick it in gear so hopefully I'll be better this month!

How I did in September:

Spiritual:

Physical:

Mental:

Marriage:

Blog:

  • Implement the 10 Day Marriage Challenge I've been planning.
  • Post 2 blog posts per week

Home:

  • Put up curtains
  • Get the picture for our one still blank wall printed and hung up
  • Re-arrange my gallery wall above my desk (I took it all down and bought some more prints but haven't put it back up yet)
  • Cook dinner at home 5 times per week

Resetting in October:

Spiritual:

Physical:

Mental:

Marriage:

Blog:

  • Implement the 10 Day Marriage Challenge I've been planning.
  • Post 2 blog posts per week
  • Share on my Disney Instagram account at least twice per week

Home:

  • Put up curtains
  • Put my gallery wall back up above my desk
  • Actually make a meal plan every week (Whether we stick to it or not)
  • Get rid of our old couch (Yes it's still in our guest room)
  • Sell most of the clothes in my Postmark closet
I'm excited to hit the ground running for these last three months of 2018!

Do you set monthly goals? Share your link in the comments or just tell me a few of your goals! Let's support each other!
Thanks for reading!

Follow me on social media:
Posts on this blog may contain affiliate links. 
If you click on a link and make a purchase, I might get a little money. 
All opinions are my own.
Continue reading »
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