Modern Marriage Struggles | Enduring All Things

Friday, November 9, 2018

Modern Marriage Struggles

Hey guys, I have another guest post for you today. Jade from The Worsley Centre brings us a great article. I would be lying if I said my marriage hasn't suffered from any of these struggles. Read what Jade has to say then let me know which one you've struggled with the most in the comments. My answer would be either "Social Media" or "Texting not Talking" for sure.

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Modern marriages have modern struggles. Whilst some may look back at more traditional marriages and think they had it easier, this is not necessarily true. We have new challenges but with these in mind, can we help avoid them affecting our marriages?

High Expectations

Movies and programmes have romanticised marriage to the point that expectations have become unrealistic. Everybody looks for romance, passion, love and an emotional connection in a marriage. As well as this, we also look for economic stability and social acceptance. All of these expectations form an unhealthy expectation that is not always met.

Having such high expectation means that it can become nearly impossible for one person to fulfil all of them. This is when modern marriages suffer. People sometimes look for one person to be everything. When the expectations are not met, the marriage becomes difficult.

Gender Roles

Traditionally, women were expected to take care of all household responsibilities. This meant that women were not allowed to peruse any ambitions or dreams they may have had.

Luckily we have moved away from such strict gender roles and women are now more equal to men. In situations such as pay, there is still often a pay gap between genders which suggests there is still inequality.

Women are allowed to peruse their dreams and ambitions even after marriage in today’s society. Both genders earn money and they both make family decisions. It has been know that this can cause disagreements and conflict within modern marriages.

Whilst we are closer towards equality, for some this does not sit comfortably.

Social Media

Looking through your timeline in the company of your husband wife may seem rude but it has become a normal thing that we all do. While checking your social media may seem harmless, it is actually cause’s massive issues in modern marriages.

Social media has become intrusive as it takes away time together and interaction. This lack of interaction leads to people feeling disconnected.

Partners can become resentful of social media because they feel as though it is more important than they are. If you’d rather spend your time sitting on your phone rather than spend time with them, it’s easy to see how that can be hurtful.

We also compare ourselves and our marriages to others on social media. When comparing the realities of one’s marriage to another’s marriage on social media, it’s easy to forget what’s behind their filter. After a while, it can cause people to see their marriage in a negative light.

Texting not Talking

Technology has become a massive part of our lives, relationships and marriages. We text more than we talk to each other. Smartphone’s enable us stay connected but it can also stops us from having meaningful interaction and conversations.

Instant messaging means that although we have less meaningful conversations, we actually talk more. Most people talk all day which means they have nothing to speak about when their home face to face with their husband or wife.

Materialism

We live in a materialistic society. A study by LeBaron (2017) discovered that materialism and marriage are not compatible. If one spouse (regardless of their gender) places a high value on money and possessions – both are less likely to be satisfied with their marriage.

Materialism leads to poor money management, which can also lead to debt and strain on a marriage. It can also cause the other party to feel like they don’t live up, or satisfy them as much as the possessions do.

We hope that with these external challenges in mind, you can focus on fighting against these forces. Just remember what’s important. Making time for your husband or wife and accepting that it will not be perfect could just save your marriage.


Jade works for The Worsley Centre, a psychotherapy and counselling service in Manchester. They enjoy writing articles so that they can spread their advice further a field and help those who may not always have access.
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