Communication - Marriage & Relationship Goals {link-up} | Enduring All Things

Monday, May 5, 2014

Communication - Marriage & Relationship Goals {link-up}

Just over a week ago, we had our monthly get together for our young married couples group at church. We are reading His Needs, Her Needs and this month, we discussed the chapter about communication. I've always known that communication was important in any relationship and especially with your significant other. And I've always know that I was pretty bad at it. This discussion (and the very long discussion afterwards that only involved me and my husband) brought some new things to my mind and brought some old things back to my mind for how to make our communication better.
This month, my goal for our marriage is better communication. You're probably thinking that this is a very broad and unattainable goal, and it is. But it can be broken down into several smaller goals:
  • Put all technology away as soon as Pearson gets home from school. Unless he needs it for homework, in which case I am allowed to have mine out too, because we won't be doing much communicating while he's doing homework anyway.
  • Tell each other when the other person is doing something that bothers us. Pearson and I both have a little problem with confrontation. Neither of us like to start arguments, so we usually let things that bother us go on without saying anything. Sometimes, if the issue isn't a big one, this is a good idea. But sometimes, something just needs to be said. 
    • This goes along with the goal I've had for the past couple months of sharing with Pearson what's on my mind. I've been doing better, but I am going to continue making a conscious effort to do so.
  • Respect requests from each other and don't get defensive. If we are going to tell each other what's bothering us, we have to also be able to take that from each other, learn from it, and try to be a better spouse because of it.
  • Just talk. The book talks about spending 15 hours per week in communication with your spouse. This is counting any time where conversation is the primary focus. So this month we are going to spend less time staring at the TV and more time taking long walks, driving around town, talking at dinner, and doing other things that allow us to focus on each other and just talk. 
    • This also goes along with my goal from last month of planning weekly date nights. We didn't do so well and it will continue to get more difficult as Pearson gets busier with preparing for his candidacy exam, but I want to keep it as a goal to work towards.
  • Go to bed earlier. Most of our best conversations happen while laying in bed. So we are going to start going to bed earlier so we can stay awake and talk without cutting into our precious sleep time. It should be easier if we are watching less TV, right?
I want to communicate with my husband. I always feel better after having a long talk. So here's to making it a priority and sticking to my goals!
What are your marriage or relationship goals this month? Link up below!
Marriage & Relationship Goals



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