Tips and Tricks for Making Friends Once You're Married | Enduring All Things

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Tips and Tricks for Making Friends Once You're Married

Well guys, Pearson and I left my grandma's house today an are heading to see our Alma Mater. We still have about nine more days on this trip before we make it to Hillsboro, Oregon and are finally home. Anyway, since I'm traveling and out of commission lately, I thought I'd let Rachel from OurStart.com take over the blog today. She certainly makes some good points to think about below since our friendships definitely change once we're married! Let me know what you think!

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Making friends at any stage of life can be challenging. This is true whether you are married, single, out of college, in college, working, or anything. One thing that changes dramatically when you get married is your friendships. How will you and your spouse approach friendship? What are the different traits you look for in a friend? What are the best ways for you to meet people and become friends? Today we are giving you tips and tricks for making new friends once you are married. Hopefully, these tips can help you as you look to start cultivating more friendships in the New Year.

Look Beyond Couple Friends


It is easy once you are married, to think that you can only be friends with couples now. This is not true. Especially for females, we need girl friendships because they give us something that men just can't. Likewise, men need time to talk and hang out with other men. So, don't discredit making or investing in single friends. Especially if you are newly married, there may be many people in your age range that haven't settled down yet. By not just limiting your friendships to other couples, you will broaden your friendship horizons.

Continue To Invest In Your Individual Friendships


Married couples don't have to always be attached at the hip. You both had close friends that you cherished before you met or got married. Don't let those friendships disappear or fade away now that you are married. Give each other time to spend with your own friends.

Make A List Of Your Friendship Needs


If you are looking to start making more couple friends, sit down with your husband and make a list of your friendship needs. This is a list of what you both expect and want out of a friendship. This activity is also a great way to get to know what you both need in a relationship better. And aren't all great marriages built on friendships anyway? By making a list, you can be more aware of where you should be looking for new friends, and what important qualities they should have.

Go Out


If you have just moved to a new area, it can be lonely if you only have each other for company. Not to mention, it can get irritating quickly. Make sure that you are making an effort to go out and at least try to meet new friends. Here are some good places to try and start:
  • The gym- while taking workout classes or just lifting.
  • Church- in a small group or congregation.
  • Work- ask your favorite co-worker to go out on a double date.
  • Park- take your dog for a walk and see if you run into anyone.
  • Community events- make sure that you are getting involved in your neighborhood and area.
By putting yourself in places where you can meet people, you are going to find new and lasting friendships.

Work On Being A Good Friend Yourself


As you are searching for new friends, it's a great time to evaluate how you are doing regarding being a friend to others. Are there areas you need to work on to retain friendships better? Have you been too selfless or selfish in past friendships? Be honest when you are thinking about these things. Maybe the reason you have not been as satisfied with friendships in the past is something you can fix.

Be A Friend To Your Spouse


Don't forget when you are searching for new friends, to be a friend to your spouse still. Take time to do the things that they enjoy doing, and compliment them. Go on date nights and talk about your dreams and desires. Love them when they are missing friends or family. By keeping your friendship alive in the midst of marriage, you will be a much better friend to those around you.

Take Trips


If you have friends that live far away, take some trips to see them. Take your spouse on a weekend to visit your best friends or vice versa. Don't give up on those great friendships that are important to you just because you moved away. Likewise, if your friends are just around the block, spend time with them and invite your husband along. Just because they weren't BFFs before the wedding, doesn't mean they won't get along given a chance.

Ask People To Introduce You


When making new friends, all you really need is to make one friend who can introduce you to all their friends. So, if you make friends with a couple, don't feel bad about asking them to introduce you to their other friends. Most of the time this will happen naturally.

Say Goodbye To Guy Friends


This is hard to hear but needs to be said. When you get married, it's not appropriate to be as close to your guy friends as you once were. Make sure that you allow some space to grow in these friendships. If you do still want to hang out with this friend, don't be afraid to invite your husband too. Always tell them when you are meeting another man one on one to avoid suspicion and hurt feelings. Be smart about the time you spend with your guy friends, and be aware of your husband's feelings about it too.

Don't Be Afraid To Make The First Move


Most people don't like to be the planners. The ones who ask another couple or person to hang out. We all like to receive the invitation ourselves. However, this is not going to be a way you make quick friendships. For instance, if you meet someone you enjoy, don't be afraid to ask them to get coffee or hang out. No one is going to be offended you want to get to know them better; they will be flattered. So, don't be afraid to make the first move in friendships. I guarantee it will pay off.

I hope that these tips help you as you and your spouse start making new friends during this season of life.

Rachel Watson is the website manager at OurStart.com. OurStart is a lifestyle blog for women in their 20s and 30s. They regularly publish content around pregnancy, parenting, weddings, and marriage. When she is not writing, Rachel enjoys spending time with her family and friends, exploring cute cafes, and playing with her miniature schnauzer.
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